While I was writing “A Few Good Lines,” other sayings came to mind. Today’s selections don’t have a common theme. They’re just an assortment of random things.

John Offenberg, one of Unadilla’s finest, has enough good lines to fill a column. One of  my favorites is from several years back. Our paths had not crossed in a while, which John cleverly acknowledged. “Neil,” he said with a big grin, “I haven’t seen you since Moby Dick was a minnow.”

Marian Bowen had a good line for almost any situation. “The best way to become a sweet old lady,” she would say, “is to be a sweet young lady.” Another of her sayings also applied to behavior. “You couldn’t please him with a pleasing stick,” she’d opine. My wife sometimes pretends she’s looking for a pleasing stick. I have no idea why. 

Audrey Bowen, one of Daddy’s sisters, had a lot of worthwhile sayings. One of them was, “Nobody ever plans to become an alcoholic.” It’s thought provoking, plus the last word can be omitted for playing fill in the blank. Another bit of her sage advice was, “It’s only a bargain if you need it.” I should have that inscribed on my wallet. About six months ago I bought a battery operated tiller because it was a deal. So far I’ve spent more time putting it together than tilling.   

The word “tiller” reminded me of a story my father enjoyed sharing. It’s off topic but I enjoy side roads. Daddy would tell about a man who married a lady named Tillie. She died and he married her twin sister Millie. Millie died and was buried near Tillie, separated by a space reserved for their husband.

As the grieving man stood beside Millie’s coffin, he whispered to the undertaker. “When I die,” he said, “bury me between Millie and Tillie, but lean me just a little bit toward Tillie.”

Daddy had a few good lines he heard from his father which he passed down. One was, “Never date a girl you’d be ashamed to marry.”  Another was, “If someone cusses a lot while they’re working, they may not know what they’re doing.”   

Cooper Taylor, a longtime friend, has the same jolly outlook at age 94 as when we met 45 years ago. He sold credit life insurance to banks all over Georgia and would stop by Bank of Dooly several times each year. I knew Cooper for a decade or so before meeting his lovely wife at a bank convention.

“This is my first wife, Lib,” he said to Jane and me with a big grin and no explanation. Several conventions passed with similar greetings. “You all remember my first wife, Lib,” he would cheerfully say. We finally learned that Lib was his one and only, which is proof of her exceptional patience.

A few months ago Cooper and I did some catching up over the phone. When I asked how his first wife is doing, he said, “Lib’s doing great! The only problem Lib has is who she’s married to.” 

It’s easy to lose touch with old friends, but good lines they’ve shared come to mind now and then. Lines first heard in early spring are treasured more in winter, warm reminders of friends not seen since Moby Dick was just a minnow.