I’m not sure when I first noticed a patch of nandinas in the woods near my mother’s childhood home. It may have been decades ago, or could have been more recently. Either way, I was seduced by the charm of red berries. The misplaced shrubs seemed a welcome novelty, their splashes of color brightening a rather bland landscape. They have, however, grown into a problem which is not easily resolved.   

After I retired from banking, Jane and I began walking in the woods quite often. Leisurely hikes are not as physically beneficial as rigorous workouts but are a lot more fun. We’re not inclined toward structured exercise, and are better suited for woodland walks.

Perhaps I lack motivation for gym routines because of a sketchy track record. A notable example is when I took weight-lifting at Valdosta State College under Coach Arnold. In the 1970s we were required to have six credits of Physical Education. I decided to use one quarter to develop a Charles Atlas physique.

As the sessions began I was five feet seventeen inches tall and weighed 165 pounds. After three months of rigorous training I was six feet five and weighed the same. My pencil shape remained unchanged.

Some P.E. classes were fun, such as tennis and bowling. The one I found most physically challenging was Life Saving. Colonel Veatch had a military background and carried herself in an authoritative manner. When she said jump in the pool we cleared the deck.

We had to tread water for fifteen minutes, which took a lot of paddling to keep my skinny frame afloat. I felt sorry for a guy whose ship was sinking and whose girlfriend swam like a fish. When he waded toward the harbor, obviously embarrassed, she went ashore with him. I don’t know if they stayed together, but her kind gesture impressed me.

The next step toward lifeguard certification was to rescue a fellow student from the deep end of the pool. A big guy named Rick Hastings was my assignment. With my elbow under his chin, I belaboredly pulled him to safety. I had no idea his head was submerged. 

Col. Veatch called me to the side of the pool. “Joiner,” she said, “if I promise to give you a C will you promise to never come back to my class?” 

“I’m out of here, Colonel,” I replied with a smile and a salute. It was a good deal for both of us, plus I knew Rick would soon get a chance to rescue me.   

That’s all just bonus information to explain why I prefer nature walks over gym routines. Now let’s get back to the berries.

My knowledge of nandinas was quite limited when I first noticed them in the woods. I had no idea they would become too dense to walk through and would keep claiming more territory. Untamed bushes are now taller than me and still expanding their reach along a stream.

I’ve cut them to ground level and treated some with chemicals, but they don’t give up easily. I hope to eventually get rid of them, even if it means buying Jane a bigger shovel.

The nandinas could have been easily dealt with when they first came on the scene, but bright colors enhanced the woods which I thought were rather plain. Acres of shrubs now remind me that seductive things are not always as harmless as they seem. The charm of red berries sometimes comes with a cost.