It was probably a year or so back when my mother suggested consequences might be an interesting column topic. In July she mentioned it again, soberly adding she’s still bothered by mistakes made in parenting my late brother Jimmy. 

Her point was that present-day regrets are consequences of long-ago actions. I told her what I believe to be true. She did the best she knew how at the time. 

Jimmy was a wonderful son, loving brother, and good friend to many, but he got off to an early start in testing the boundaries of patience. He told one of his grammar-school teachers Mama wouldn’t buy him a notebook. And he preceded Opie Taylor in claiming to have brushed his teeth with a toothbrush that remained miraculously dry.    

Late in life, despite having diabetes, Jimmy would discreetly fill up on sweets then say he didn’t want any supper. At first Mama thought he was trying to lose weight, but milkshake cups left in his truck showed otherwise. It’s hard to fix what you can’t understand, but he wasn’t the first to travel that road. It’s been happening since Bible times.    

There are countless biblical examples of misguided decisions which led to adverse consequences. Samson was a warrior without equal until he got clipped by Delilah. Adam and Eve ate their way out of a perfect home. The people in Noah’s day were flooded with regrets. Moses was denied entrance into the Promised Land for striking a rock. The list is long of cases where poor choices led to painful consequences. And we all have some personal experiences, ranging from insignificant to life altering.  

On a better note, however, there are also consequences of good decisions. It’s not often we think of consequences in a positive sense, but maybe we should. Instead of rehashing troubling matters, perhaps we should focus on beneficial outcomes, including those where other people deserve the credit. 

I’ve enjoyed the consequences of having godly parents, of growing up near both sets of grandparents, of never going to bed hungry or having to sleep in a vehicle instead of a bed. I’ve enjoyed the consequences of having friends who inspire me, of living in a country that despite its problems remains a land of opportunity, of enjoying cherished freedoms because of the sacrifices of others. Those are just thought starters. Feel free to make your own list. 

I’m going to try to be more deliberate in making choices which lead toward favorable consequences, not just for me but for others who are affected. And I’m going to make a better effort of learning from mistakes without dwelling on them too long. 

The most important decision my brother ever made was largely a consequence of good parenting, and it came with eternal rewards. If he could send a message south he’d probably laugh and tell our mother that heaven’s milkshakes remind him of Carver’s Country Store. And with a huge grin he’d likely point his finger at her and use one of his favorite lines. “You need to put a smile on that face!” 

Jimmy would no doubt heartily agree with what I believe to be true. Mama did the best she knew how at the time.