I didn’t plan a series about “A Few Good Lines,” but the first two columns brought other sayings to mind. Today’s musings are a few of my favorite bank lines gleaned from 35 years as a country banker.

Marcus Everidge had a mischievous nature and an easy laugh. More than once he said with mock sincerity, “I’m going to tell you what a man told me after I did a lot of backhoe work for him. When I told him how much he owed, he said, ‘Marcus, even if I can’t pay you, I’ll still be your friend.’” 

Another quip, the source long forgotten, added an interesting slant to an old jewel. A father had expressed concern to his daughter about her boyfriend having an ambition deficiency. “Money won’t buy happiness,” his daughter stated defensively. “You’re right,” he agreed, “but neither will poverty.” I don’t know how that story ended. Love is blind much of the time, which no doubt benefits men more than women.

Mr. John Short Williams, a fine gentleman and excellent farmer, gets credit for a memorable quote during my banking days. He had a military background and was sturdily built. Even in his senior years he looked capable of riding the range with John Wayne.

As he was leaving the bank one Friday, I walked outside with him to visit a bit. A young fellow strolled past and mentioned, in a rather carefree manner, having an overdue loan he’d catch up later. Mr. John smiled, then told me about a man he made a personal loan to who began avoiding him.

He eventually went to the man’s house and told him he wanted his money. When the fellow said he didn’t have it, Mr. John said he wasn’t leaving without it. The man smugly responded, “You can’t get blood out of a turnip.” Mr. John said, “No, but I can get the turnip.” That jogged the fellow’s memory about a stash of cash.

That story amused me because I wasn’t good at collecting, especially when folks were having a tough time. When I first joined the bank, President Luke Couch gave me a long list of past dues to work. I’d call them every week, then Luke and I would discuss them.

One day Luke politely suggested I might need to change my collection approach. A married couple had been dealing with health issues and kept falling further behind on their payments. It seemed to me they were doing the best they could, so I mostly listened. After several months the man came in to see Luke. Thankfully they worked out a plan, but I wished he hadn’t told my boss how much his wife enjoyed my calls.   

James Reuben Akin, a friend and fellow church member, had a keen sense of humor and multiple clever sayings. My favorite bank line of his was, “I came into this world with nothing and I’ve managed to hold on to most of it.”

We’ll wrap this column up by citing Wimpy, a lovable character in the Popeye cartoons. Wimpy’s most-beloved quote is, “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.” His intentions were clearly suspect, but the entertainment value of a good line is surely worth more than the price of a hamburger. 

And when Tuesday came around and Wimpy couldn’t be found, there’s one thing I am certain could be said of him. Even if he didn’t pay you, he’d still be your friend.